Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Truculent Negin

Me: Hey, Negin I put this widget which shows a dot for the location of everyone who visited my blog on a map on my blog. The dot gets bigger for each person who visits your website
Funnypants:So what does it say.
Me: Everyone who comes to my blog is from New York,except for kent in Austin, and most of those the hits are me clicking multiple times a day.
Funnypants: Well thats embarrassing.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Inspired By The State Of The Union...

Everytime I watch the clip of Carl Szmolinsky's Giant German Rabbits I become uncontrollably gleeful. Originally I was thinking that it would only be good for a sketch but I have had a couple nights to sleep on it and in my dreams wonderful things have appeared. I think this could be the biggest movie ever.

Karl Szmolinsky is a simple man with a tiny farm off the north sea of Germany. Karl has big dreams and wants to help solve the worlds problems. He is building wind turbines, and planting switch grass on his farm to help solve the worlds quest for renewable energy. He is also breeding giant rabbits to help solve world hunger.

Unfortunately, Farmer Szmolinsky dies 5 minutes into the movie due to a freak wind turbine accident. In his will he gives all his Giant German Rabbits to feed the famine stricken people North Korea. Instead of being used to feed the millions of poor, the rabbits are studied and experimented on by evil scientists in some sort of super evil genius plan to take over the world. On route to carry out their mission against the US some rabbits, "the moderates", try to escape. In a chase scene through the streets of new york city reminiscent of The French Connection the good rabbits narrowly hop out of one jamb after another until they find themselves in a hopless situation.

Wesley Autrey a.k.a subway man, comes to a last second heroic rescue of the good rabbits in a daring recreation of real life heroics. In a scene reminiscent of his real life exeperience -- the undercarriage of the subway car passes over him leaving the only evidence of his feat a slight smudge on his hat, a periwinkle blue beanie with a Playboy Bunny logo. A bond is formed.

I haven't gotten to the next act yet I am hoping it will come to me in another dream. I feel the bond between the rabbits and subway man is critical for next part. Like die hard meets who framed roger rabbit. There is tons of potential here and I dont want to force it. .

This is going to have to be an epic movie three, maybe four hours. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that there has been serious literature about rabbits including Watership Down, the The Velveteen Rabbit, and Rabbit, Run. Well, you will happy to know that I feel its necesarry to pay homage to each of those classics in this film too.

The poster for the movie is the shot with Karl holding the rabbit up high.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Giant German Rabbits Headed to North Korea aka Karl Schmolinsky

With a little humor added this short clip seems like it would be the good basis for the most original comedy of all time.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Scooters Juror Pool

"There is nothing they could say or do that would make me think anything positive about them"
the woman said moments before she was excused from the jury pool by U.S. District Judge

You Can’t Call Yourself a Think Tank if All Your Ideas Are Stupid

Of Rice, Maliki was quoted as saying: "I would advise Condoleezza Rice to avoid statements that may aid terrorists."

Its official -- I think rafs blog is better than mine.

Lesson to be learned.

If i ever say I am going to place money on a game you should bet against me.

Jay Trotter: Seven hundred and TEN - and you'll never have that problem, because the only reason I won is that you didn't bet! You are the unluckiest person in the world!
Looney: Am not!
Jay Trotter: Am!
Looney: Am not!
Jay Trotter: Am!
[pulling out his racing form]
Jay Trotter: Who do you like in the second?
Looney: The six horse looks pretty good...
Jay Trotter: [dramatically crosses out the six horse on his racing form] You got a brother?
Looney: In Cleveland.
Jay Trotter: Call him up, ask him who he likes. I figure it's in the blood!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

How about Leia?

I just saw Firewall with Harrison Ford. It was horrible. You wonder if Hans actually read the script at all before he took the film. There is a scene in it when he is outside in the rain and it reminded me of Blade Runner. It made it even worse.

Speaking of bad the colts-ravens games pretty much blew. Seven field goals and no touch downs -- a defensive masterpiece -- how boring can you get. I got a bet in against the pats tomorrow. Hopefully LD can blow it up against the pats.

My phone is on life support. The cheapest 2004 version nokia, or "brick" as our european friends call it, currently has no functionality in the upper left corner button. This means I can not lock/unlock the phone, search the menus, or answer calls. In order to do this i need to slide the back cover off, unclasp the front cover and then push the top button at a hard angle.

So if I dont answer your calls -- just wait -- its much easier for me to call back. Of course, the number must be listed.